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    Best 30 New Funny Jokes In English 2018 (Latest And Humor)

    Whats App Sexy Jokes

    1. Define bra: under shoulder ball holder.
    Define underwear: under hip banana grip.
    Define panty: jungle river cotton cover.
    2.  90yrs old man: my 18yrs wife is pregnant, your opinion.
    Doctor: I tell you a story.
    A hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun.
    He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle. The lion drops dead.

    Must Read : best earphones under 1000

    3.  Old man: that’s impossible someone else must have shot it.
    Doctor: exactly now you understand.3.  What’s the difference between hook in cricket and hook of bra?
    One sends ball out of boundary and another keeps balls within the boundaries.
    4.  Explain rape: it’s a difficult job, something like playing golf with a moving hole.
    5.  Prince and Sardar were having dinner, prince says, pass the wine you divine.
    Sardar thinks how poetic, Sardar says pass this custard you bastard.
    6. Judge: why do you want divorce?
    Man: she doesn’t satisfy me on bed.
    Judge: is it true madam?
    Lady: dam it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.
    7.  Women’s life is very hard. Morning: wash the dress.
    Noon: dry the dress. Evening: iron the dress.
    Night: remove the dress.
    Midnight: search the dress.
    8.  What’s common between a girl and amul butter?
    Both are utterly butterly delicious when spread.
    One on bed and another on bread.
    9.  Do you feel boring? Thinking what to do?
    Open the zip; insert your two hands in-between the zip take out your book from your bag and study.
    10. Husband: I am going out for five days.
    Wife: Ok but don’t surprise me by coming back early otherwise you will be surprised.
    11.   Nurse put patient finger in her mouth, after blood test.
    Patient starts dancing, nurse asks: why you are dancing?
    Patient: next is urine test.
    12.  Lady patient: Doctor please call my husband inside.
    Doctor: Trust me I am gentleman.
    Patient: No Dr. your nurse is sitting outside and my husband is not gentleman.
    13.   All eggs in women decided to fight against sperm.They waited with guns in the sex organ. That night no one came, suddenly one shouted guys attack is from backside.
    14.   Girls prayed to god why you don’t make boy’s sex organ more beautiful.
    God: no way, though I made it ugly, you suck it; if I made it beautiful you will eat it.
    15.   Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical?
    It’s when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.
    16.   There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress.
    17.  Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
    Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
    Officer: well, that’s not prohibited.
    18.   Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
    Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.
    19.  Teacher: explain responsibility.
    Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.
    20.  Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.
    21.  A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.
    22.  Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.
    23.  Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk?
    Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don’t uck, how do you feel.
    24.   A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
    He asked: why are you laughing at me?
    Animals: your tails in front.
    p>Girl: what do you like in me?
    Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.
    Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?
    Boy: yes, I like your eyes.
    25.   Who’s guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts “quickly my husband is back” man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.
    26.  Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don’t know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.
    27.   Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can’t move further. So intelligent people always keep stepney.
    28.  Boy saw a lady with big breast.
    He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?
    She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
    The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
    Lady asks: aren’t you gonna bite them?
    He replies: no, it’s too costly.
    29.   A guy picked up for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee?
    Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt.
    30. Who is senior’s female sex organ or male sex organ?
    Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, so respects the seniors.
    31.   A college girl was in jeans pant and zip was open. Boy went and told miss please close your taj mahal door here my quthubminar is dancing.
    32. What’s common between sun and a women’s underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.
    33. One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was.
    She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.
    34. Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it’s Indian tradition to cover all eating and dirking things when not in use.
    35. Completing engineering is like a girl pregnant everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.
    36. Kid by chance enters into parent’s bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.
    37. Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night?
    Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.
    38. Contest in a girl’s college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery.
    Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.
    39. A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
    Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can’t put yours in mine.
    Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.
    40. Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night? Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
    Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.


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    2 comments:

    1. In this manner my acquaintance Wesley Virgin's report starts with this SHOCKING and controversial VIDEO.

      As a matter of fact, Wesley was in the military-and soon after leaving-he unveiled hidden, "mind control" secrets that the CIA and others used to get everything they want.

      These are the EXACT same SECRETS many famous people (especially those who "come out of nothing") and elite business people used to become rich and famous.

      You've heard that you only use 10% of your brain.

      That's mostly because the majority of your brainpower is UNCONSCIOUS.

      Perhaps that expression has even occurred INSIDE OF YOUR very own mind... as it did in my good friend Wesley Virgin's mind about 7 years back, while riding an unregistered, beat-up trash bucket of a vehicle without a license and on his banking card.

      "I'm absolutely frustrated with going through life payroll to payroll! Why can't I turn myself successful?"

      You took part in those types of conversations, ain't it right?

      Your own success story is waiting to be written. All you need is to believe in YOURSELF.

      CLICK HERE TO LEARN WESLEY'S SECRETS

      ReplyDelete

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